I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
