I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
