I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
