haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
