Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
