the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
