I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
