i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
