Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
