Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
my sisters under your porch take her home
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
