this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
