that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
