Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
