Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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