Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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