It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
