i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
