He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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