And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
