I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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