Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
