he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I forget how to act sober
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
