piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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