It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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