woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
