so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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