We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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