The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
