she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
