ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
