i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just high enough for therapy.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
