once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
