omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
