I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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