my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
