Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
