I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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