I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
