My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
