Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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