What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
