My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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