I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
