i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
