Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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