Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
