i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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