I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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