dude i'm inner monologue high
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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