I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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